Relationships

Cheat On A Man Once, And You Will Never Hear The End Of It Because – Lady Narrates

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When I was younger, my parents used to fight a lot. My dad was almost always angry, especially when he didn’t have money or things were hard for him. He was like a ticking time bomb, anything could set him off. On days he came home with nothing, he beat us for the most mundane things. Because of him, I always told myself; “If this is what it feels like to get married and start a family, then I will remain single for the rest of my life.” For this reason, I did not want anything to do with boys. I was always mean to them and I wouldn’t say I liked it if they tried to be my friend or anything more. Along the line, the mood in our family shifted. I don’t know what happened but we are now a loving family. This also made me soften my heart toward boys. Instead of completely shutting them down, I became more open to the idea of letting them close to me.



I even surprised myself, when David, a boy I liked, asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. This was in November 2016. I was 18 and he was 24. I knew nothing about relationships. I didn’t know what to expect, how to behave, or what to say. It wasn’t rosy in the beginning, and it wasn’t thrilling either. I learned new relationships were mostly sweet but mine was as dry as firewood. The only time my boyfriend was nice to me was when he wanted shuperu. Later, I found out that he was chatting with lots of girls who were sending him their nude photos. He still has those photos even though he says he no longer talks to the girls.



In 2017, I went to training college. I mostly kept to myself until I met Junior a year after. We had an instant connection. Everything I didn’t feel with David, I felt with Junior. He was easy to talk to, unlike David who is an introvert and doesn’t like small talk. Junior knew I was in a relationship, and he also knew about our problems. That was the first mistake I made, opening up to another guy about my relationship problems. I was naive at that time. Junior used the information I shared with him to behave in a way that drove me into his arms. Half a year after we met, I started dating him. No, I didn’t leave David. I was dating the two of them simultaneously. My God, how stressful that was.


David noticed some signs; I started withdrawing from him, picking unnecessary fights, and refusing to see him. I did all this because of the guilt I felt. Junior also thought I was with him because I had broken up with David. I couldn’t tell him the truth because then he wouldn’t be with me. And I didn’t want to lose him. He made me feel alive in a way David didn’t. With him, I could joke and laugh about little things that interested me. And he gave me lots of attention. But I wasn’t truly happy with myself. The guilt I felt was just too much. By September 2019, I couldn’t keep my act going, so I came clean to David. Boy, he was so heartbroken. “That’s why you have been different since last year. I knew it. I asked if something was going on and you lied to me. Why did you do it? Was I not enough for you?” The answer was probably yes, I couldn’t tell him that.


He expressed his pain in so many words and I apologized in the same measure. After lots of talks about the subject, I promised to cut ties with Junior. However, I didn’t do it completely. I broke up with him but we still talked from time to time. David also decided to get back at me. He hooked up with three girls at a time I put all my efforts into making our relationship work. When I found out about the girls I was deeply hurt but I felt I didn’t have the right to talk so I didn’t. However, I realized that a relationship can’t survive after a lady cheats. So I went back to Junior in an attempt not to put all my eggs in one basket. Just when things started working with Junior again, David and I talked. “I am really sorry about the girls. I was trying to hurt you for hurting me, but it wasn’t worth it in the end. Can we start on a clean slate?” I figured we were even, so why not start all over again?


I stopped seeing Junior but occasionally we would say hi to each other. It was harmless but David didn’t like it so I blocked Junior eventually. David and I have been good since that time. Our relationship hasn’t hit any rock for over a year now. We are happy, or so I thought. David requested that I let him know if Junior tried to contact me again. I said okay. Just recently, Junior contacted me using a different number but I shut it down. I was torn between telling David and letting sleeping dogs lie. I felt guilty about not telling him so I told him after a few days. He got angry, “You don’t respect me. If you did, you would have told me the minute he contacted you. Why did you wait till now to tell me?”



This has become an issue, to the point that he wants to call it quits. I explained that I just didn’t want to taint what we had going with Junior’s issues. But he says the fact that I did not tell him the instant Junior contacted me, means I respect Junior more than him. That’s not true though. I respect David a lot. That is why I didn’t even want to bring Junior up. Talking about him makes it look like he is still in the shadows and making my relationship hell. I have tried to explain things to David but he doesn’t see things this way. He said I shouldn’t have made that decision. I should have just done what he wanted. So my question right now is, was I wrong? Is David justified in his anger?

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2 Comments

  1. You should have told the truth the first time he called you. The little things we ignore, they are the ones that hates the most. Speak the truth and the truth shall set you free.

    1. But sometimes men should try their best to understand female gender coz the fact will remain that she didn’t pick up the call

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