After years of encounters with the police and more than enough drama to go around, they could finally do something about the person in question. With a grin, she knocked on the door and handed over a piece of paper that would change everything.
For years, Emily Swanson and her spouse had been saving up every penny so that one day they could move to Hawaii. After being careful financially, they finally afforded to rent a beautiful five-bedroom oceanfront house. They felt that they were finally living their dream until they met their neighbor.
The first explosion happened after Emily and her husband threw away an old playset. Tanya, a robust woman with an unhealthy fondness for leopard print and profanity t-shirts, stormed over and bellowed that they had no right to take away her children’s toys. Emily restrained her fury and calmly reminded her of two very important facts: the set was on their property, and the landlord owned it.
Then Emily heard the loud music. So when the woman took advantage of their hospitality by having a huge family party in their space, Emily couldn’t believe it. The neighbor ordered her to stay inside, declaring it was a family-only gathering. Then something happened that made Emily’s blood boil.
Emily and her husband took refuge in the living room while the party raged outside. Then one of the drunken guests of her neighbor stumbled inside. Emily tried to explain that this wasn’t her neighbor’s house. The guest replied that Tanya said she owned the whole property and to use whichever bathroom. Emily couldn’t believe it.
Her neighbor came inside too, shouting about how Emily could make a fool out of her in front of her guests. She continued, saying they didn’t need all the space to themselves. Emily’s blood was boiling. Tanya needed to learn a lesson.
Since the couple was spending some money, they thought they might update the outside area too. Maybe a fire pit and a beautiful patio kitchen. The cost was expensive but done very well. Then she heard Tanya walking right up to her patio.
Tanya looked at Emily and demanded she’d tell her what was going on. Emily thought she would tell her about the renovations to her patio as soon as Tanya was told. Emily could see her eyes glow; she was clearly already planning her next gathering on Emily’s turf.
Emily hid her smile as she walked away. What Emily didn’t tell Tanya was that the renovations also included a secure fence around the patio. When Tanya found out, she couldn’t believe it. This started a war that Emily was happy to play a part in.
Then Billy arrived. Billy was Tanya’s boyfriend. He immediately began to throw his cigarette butts and beer cans over the fence and into Emily’s yard. For disrespecting his woman, he and Tanya became true neighbors from hell, having loud arguments and parties at all hours of the night.
Billy was obviously on Tanya’s side about the fence fiasco, and Billy also had a boat. It was a 30-foot fishing boat, to be precise. Only Tanya’s side of the property was allocated 15 feet of dockage. Emily’s side was larger and more expensive, blessed with about 150 feet of docking space.
To make some extra money, Emily and her husband rented the extra docking spaces they didn’t need on a month-to-month basis. Renters would tie up their boats on their property line. So what did Billy and Tanya decide to do?
One day, Emily found a nasty review for her on the site they used to rent out the docking spaces. The disgruntled customer said Emily and her husband were rude and hadn’t honored a verbal agreement to let them use the space for three more months.
Emily was furious. The couple had posed as her and her husband while they were out of town, rudely told the renter to remove their boat, and audaciously parked Billy’s fishing boat in the space. Unbelievable. Emily wasted no time. Now it was her turn to call the cops.
The situation was getting well out of hand. The cops ordered Tanya and Billy to move the boat immediately or it would be towed. Tanya and Billy began to scream that the boat was on their property and that Emily was a liar. Then they switched back and screamed that nobody could own the water.
After this final incident, Emily vowed to get payback, and she didn’t care if it took years to get it. It was supposed to be years of blissful mornings with fruit salad and watching the ocean. Instead, cigarette butts and other garbage were tossed over regularly. Weekly parties became louder, and Tanya’s horrible children’s new favorite pastime was throwing lit fireworks at her boat.
Emily felt helpless, but karma was waiting just around the corner. Months turned into years, and the police eventually knew their address by heart because it was the horrible neighbor’s main ammunition. Emily turned despondent as her heavenly paradise turned sour and rotten.
She’d just about given up on her dreams and even considered moving just to get away from it all. But then fate stepped in. The landlord suddenly offered a very interesting opportunity. The housing market was insane, and the old man was tired of being a landlord, especially to the crazy girl that never shuts her pie hole.
Emily’s jaw dropped as he offered the wonderful, utterly magical solution to all her problems. Fruit salad and tranquility would be in her future again. The old man was desperate to sell the other half of the complex and wanted to give the first chance to Emily and her husband.
She felt a new surge of joy swell in her heart at the idea. It was extra great because she’d be able to move her aging parents in beside them. It didn’t take long for the paperwork to go through, and the final plan to unfold.
They weren’t idiots before the glorious day. They made an LLC, confirmed the end of the lease, and had the notice papers ready. It was with immeasurable pleasure that she knocked down Leopard Lady’s door or handed over the notice and asked for the rent. But that wasn’t the best part.
It turned out the wretched neighbor had just moved her mother in. The old woman wasn’t just mortified at her daughter’s behavior; she repeatedly and sincerely apologized for everything that had happened over the years. “I didn’t raise my daughter to act like this kind of maniac.”
Leopard Lady turned beet red with rage and embarrassment. It was an alliance Emily would never have imagined. Not only did the old mother keep exquisite and effective peace, but she also ended up being very pleasant company.
Every Wednesday evening, Emily and the woman had drinks and baked, and each time Tanya blistered in silent anger. But one thing held true. Emily and her husband weren’t malicious people. She was more than happy to let them stay at base necessary rent until they managed to find a new home.
Part of her was going to miss the old woman and their sudden, brief friendship. She was the neighbor she’d dreamed of the entire time. In the end, the house was finally emptied, and moving trucks sped away. There was one last spiteful yet hilarious letter left in their mailbox, on animal print paper no less.
