I met the love of my life right after I completed school. He had this fire inside him that pulled me to him. Slim could make me cackle with laughter in every situation. He was the most caring person I knew. He was also very generous. He took care of me even when we were just friends. Slim was like my personal angel God assigned to me here on earth to make my life a living heaven.
At the time we met he was making plans to travel outside the country for greener pastures. Everything looked like it was going to work out so we stayed the course and prayed that things would turn out right for him. And even though we noticed the chemistry brewing between us, no one said anything. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in a long-distance relationship, and that was mostly why I kept my feelings to myself. But two weeks to his departure date, Slim bared his heart to me.
He told me, “I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t even know if a long-distance relationship will work for us. What I do know is that I am madly in love with you. And I would be a fool to fly miles across the world without letting you know.” I was so choked with emotions that I only managed to say, “Same.” “Same?” he said with a shocked look. “Clearly I misunderstood the signals you were sending me. Why else would you respond to my grand romantic speech with ‘Same’? if you don’t want me, you can just say the word ‘No’. I can handle it.”
I remember my eyes going as wide as saucers as I said, “Oh, no, no, no, you misunderstood me. I meant I love you too and it would be crazy to let you leave the country without letting you know.” He exploded with laughter, “I know what you meant. I was just messing with you. God, you should see your face.” I punched his arm playfully as I joined him in laughter. That’s Slim for you, he used to paint humour into every situation.
Just as we thought he was all set to travel, something went wrong and his plans fell through. I felt bad for him but he took it well. He even managed to cheer me up, even though he was the one who needed cheering up. After that mishap, he didn’t try to travel again. He just focused on building something out of his life here at home, and I also did my best to support him.
Three years down the line, I got pregnant. The news scared me. “What will people say about me?” I worried, “Even my parents will know that I have been doing shuperu.” Slim on the other hand was calm. He told me, “Don’t worry babe, we will figure it out one step at a time. I am here with you.” And true to his words, he stood by me through it all. He rubbed my back when morning sickness sent me heaving the contents of my stomach into the toilet. And he stayed up with me through the nights that insomnia stole sleep from me. You should see him on the day our baby was born; he cried every time I screamed in pain, and when the baby came out, he shed tears of joy. It was during that period that I knew that I hit a jackpot in the love department.
Eight months after the birth of our son we got married. I felt happiness in every bright colour the human eye can see. My husband liked to live in the moment. Sometimes he would drag me out of bed and take me shoe shopping. Other times too he would wake me up in the morning with a tray of breakfast. My face was always as bright as sunshine, and my lips were always parted in a crescent smile. If someone asked, “How are you?” the first response that came to my mind was, “Happy. I am happy, how are you too?” My definition of beauty became Slim, our son, and our simple life.
One night I was waiting for my husband to return home from work when I received a phone call from an unknown number. The caller sounded frantic, “Hello, is this Slim’s wife?” My chest tightened as I said, “Yes. How may I help you?” He said, “I am sorry to inform you that your husband was involved in an accident.” My heart started pounding so loudly that I could barely hear myself speak, “No, you are mistaken. I just spoke to my husband about an hour ago. He will be at the gate any moment from now.” The man told me they found his ID Cards and my number in his wallet, that’s how they knew who to call.
The rest of the night merged into one big blur after the man told me the name of the hospital he was admitted. My husband’s injuries were enough to put him in a coma. For a whole month, I was on my knees praying and bargaining with God to send my husband back to me. And he did. He woke up from the coma but his injuries were terrifying; leg injuries, severe trauma, and brain injury. Every breath he took was a groan. I couldn’t stand to see him like that so I told God, “Please, he is suffering too much. Heal him.”
It took a long time but his pain got better, and the doctors declared him fit to go home. As I am writing this, it’s been a year since the accident. He has made an impressive recovery. He is able to walk without any help. The only problem is that his brain is no longer the same. He has regained seventy per cent of his memory but the missing thirty per cent makes a significant difference in our lives. He looks like the man I married but his personality is something else. There are days he wakes up angry at everyone. Then he would isolate himself and throw a fit if anyone got close to him.
He hasn’t reacted badly to my presence but sometimes I feel how deeply he finds me irritating. What breaks my heart above everything is, our son can no longer play with him like he used to. He is just a child but he feels the shift in his father’s energy. It feels like someone replaced the sunshine in our home with a dark cloud. Where my heart used to feel light in my chest, now it is as heavy as a rock. I try to be thankful that God preserved his life. But I feel like I lost him somehow.
There are different shades of sadness in this place where happiness used to reign. My husband sleeps in my bed every night but I miss him. I miss the way he paints humour in every situation. I miss the sound of his hearty laughter. I miss how we could talk endlessly about everything. It’s hard. But I am trying to make the best out of the situation. I keep praying and trusting God to heal him completely so that I can have my husband back. A lot has changed in my life but my love for him has not changed, and I know that somewhere beneath his cold exterior is the man who loves me.
Take heart,all shall be well. your husband atapona in the might name of Jesus.