After my marriage fell apart, I decided to stay single and do my best to raise our daughter. Because I was the one who got custody of the child, my ex-husband left me to bear full responsibility for the child. When it comes to feeding, clothes, school fees, school uniforms, books, and all other needs she has, I take care of it all. This man hasn’t even contributed a dime as child support since the divorce.
I have been the only parent in my little girl’s life. This hasn’t afforded me a lot of time to have a social life. All I do is work and be a mother. I haven’t had time to date. And until recently, I hadn’t had shuperu in so many years. My girl is now seven years old and is growing beautifully. Somewhere last month, my sExual frustration got the better of me and I ended up having a one-night stand.
It wasn’t with a random stranger. He wasn’t a close friend either. He is just someone I know. It was meant to happen once and never again. We both agreed on this. I had an itch, and he helped me scratch it. That’s all. We were not even supposed to stay in touch after the whole thing, so we didn’t. I thought I could easily move on from that event but something has happened.
I missed my period this month. That was when it dawned on me that we didn’t use protection when we did it. I have also been single for so long that I am not on any contraceptives. He didn’t also pull out. And it did not cross my mind to take the morning-after pill. The moment the realization hit me, I knew I was screwed. Truly, I took a test and it confirmed that I am pregnant.
I even went to the hospital to take another test, and the result remained positive. I have been thinking about what to do since I found out. At first, I considered getting rid of it. But my conscience scolded me for entertaining that thought in the first place.
I mean, this is a human being we are talking about. My own child for that matter. How can I conceive murder against it? If getting rid of it is not something I can do, then the only other option is to keep it. It was at this point that I decided to tell the guy responsible about it. Initially, I planned to go see him but I didn’t have the courage to face him. I imagined how he would react and it made me anxious, nervous, and scared. So I sent him a simple text; “I am pregnant.
I was careless. Sorry.” Just as I feared, he called me immediately after he got my message. He didn’t even say hello. He just started shouting, “How did this happen? How could you be so careless?” I apologized, “I am sorry this has happened. I haven’t been with anyone in so long that I forgot about contraceptives. Please, forgive me for bringing this upon us.
Then I told him about my decision to keep it. “You must be joking,” he retorted, “You better reconsider that decision. I am not ready to be a father so know that I will have no part of this pregnancy if you don’t do what needs to be done.” I have thought about this a million times.
It is the only thing I think about every day. I know that I don’t want to get an abortion. However, I am already doing the whole single mother thing and it has not been easy. My finances, time, emotions, and mental stability are already on shaky grounds because I am raising one child alone.
How will I function if I add another one to it? Will the children get everything they need from a parent when I am not in the position to give it to them?
This is a whole human being we are talking about. It is a lot of responsibility to bear. The thought of it is killing me. All I wanted to do was to satisfy a sexual need. Now, look at me. I got the satisfaction alright but now I am about to have a baby daddy who wants nothing to do with the child.
How can I face this? A part of me even refuses to accept the situation. It’s like I am having a bad dream someone will soon wake me from.
Am I making the right choice to keep this baby? Especially, considering that it was conceived out of a one-night stand. The pregnancy is only a few weeks old. Is it really murder if I get rid of it at this stage? I need counsel. I need someone to pour my heart out to. Above all, I need guidance. I feel so lost right now.
