Angy was a final-year student at the University when a mutual friend introduced us. She is a beautiful young woman. The first thought that run through my mind when I first saw her was, “This is a cute girl with a cute ass.” I wanted to be with her. And I happen to be the kind of man who goes after what I want. I did not love her but I courted her until I won her heart.
My intention was to grow to love her along the way. When I finally asked her to be my girlfriend she said yes. She was madly in love with me by then. Sadly, I still wasn’t in love with her by then. She did everything in her power to make me happy but I kept finding fault with everything she did. She went above and beyond to keep me but I still didn’t feel a flutter in my chest for her. I appreciated all her best efforts but I wasn’t feeling the love.
As time passed, I thought of ways to let her down easily. I may not have been in love with her but she did not deserve to have her feelings hurt. Every excuse I thought of didn’t seem gentle enough. So I eventually told her that I was traveling. “I am not sure I will return anytime soon. So don’t wait for me. Put yourself out there and if you meet someone who is willing to marry you, give him a chance.” She was heartbroken but she handled it well. I was sure a breakup was what I wanted. However, after things ended I didn’t feel quite right. I felt like I made a mistake by letting her go. I waited for a few months but my feelings did not change. I wanted her back in my life.
I tried to move on but I couldn’t. So I went to her and told her, “I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have ended things with you. Please, give me another chance to make things right.” I thought she hadn’t moved on so I was confident she would take me back immediately. To my surprise, Angy told me, “You are too late. I have moved on. I have another boyfriend now.” I did not want to lose her again so I didn’t walk away from her easily. I begged. Scratch that, I groveled.
For almost three weeks, I did not budge. Eventually, I got through to her. She finally listened to my pleas. She told me, “I will give you another chance. But if you mess it up again, I am done. You won’t have another opportunity to get close to me.” That’s how she left her other boyfriend and took me back. We’ve had a peaceful relationship until recently. I started thinking about marrying her. So I asked her questions about her past that I never bothered with before.
How many men have you been with?” I asked her. She got shifty all of a sudden. She shrugged and said her past shouldn’t matter because it was another time of her life. I did not relent. I kept probing until she finally asked, “When you ask how many men I have been with, what specifically do you want to know?” I told her, “I am only asking about your body count.” She was unwilling to disclose this information to me at first, but this is a woman I was planning to spend the rest of my life with.
I had to know everything before we would proceed. I would have taken it calmly if she had told me she had slept with three men. However, seven is too big a number for me to overlook. The moment she mentioned the number I felt my interest in her slowly disappearing. I know some people will tell me that her past is her past. Or that I shouldn’t hold her accountable for things she did before she met me.
Well, I don’t buy that. I don’t think women should live irresponsible lives when they are young and then expect to get married to a responsible man who will give them a decent life. It’s not fair. Trust me on this, the higher a person’s body count, the easier they lose their ability to bond with their partners. So no one should come and accuse me of being immature. I am only concerned that the woman I want to marry has such a high body count.
I am asking the men and women here who share my values and ideologies, will you settle down with a partner who has been with seven or more people? I am not saying she should have been a virgin when we met. As stated earlier, I wouldn’t have had a problem if there were only three people. But now that the number is higher than that, it gives a certain impression about her.
Apart from this issue, she is a good woman. She is honest to a fault. She gets along well with the people in my life. And she supports me in all aspects of my life. I know she will make me happy if we get married. I just can’t shake off the knowledge of her past lovers. What do I do? Please, I will appreciate your counsel.
