There’s nothing quite so invalidating as having your feelings dismissed because you’re having your period.
Carrie’s husband Tim regularly blames her period whenever she feels strongly about an issue.
“For example, when we argue, he says, ‘I won’t argue anymore since you tend to act crazy when you’re on your period’, or ‘I know you didn’t mean to do/say that but couldn’t help it since it’s that time of the month for you’,” she explained in a Reddit post.
She finds it irritating and said it makes her feel she can’t express herself without being dismissed. One night at dinner, she’d had enough, and she decided she would prove to her husband that she didn’t have her period, and her emotions were real and rational.
“We had an argument about him forgetting to fill my car with petrol after he used it and when I expressed my frustration, he said, ‘We will not talk about this now since you appear to be on your period’.
“I said I was not on my period, I was just frustrated. He insisted he won’t talk about it because ‘I was on my period since I was being irrational during an argument.”
Carrie snapped. She’d had enough.
“I got up, stood in front of him while he was still eating, pulled down my pants and showed him my underwear.”
Woman pulls down pants to show husband she doesn’t have period
Tim was disgusted.
“F**k that’s nasty,” he said. “I’m eating my damn dinner.”
The couple argued and Tim accused Carrie of making him lose his appetite. “He told me to grow up and stop being spiteful over nothing.”
Members of the Reddit community called Tim a misogynist.
“He’s weaponising a sexist trope to belittle your emotions to avoid treating you like a person, and it sounds like you’re at breaking point,” one person said.
“In his mind, he has created a reason to never have to validate or listen to your feelings and emotions. This can’t be healthy for you. How will you be able to resolve any conflicts in a collaborative way? It sounds like he will just dismiss your perspective.”
“Not only is he weaponizing a sexist trope, he said his wife’s body disgusted him,” said a third person. “And I agree – the dismissing, gaslighting, and belittling is absolutely emotional abuse.”
Some called it gaslighting.
“He’s trying to get OP to question whether her very legitimate complaints about him are fair/reasonable by calling her ‘irrational’ or ‘crazy’ and suggesting she’s not in control of her own feelings and actions because she menstruates,” one person said.
“Your husband is gaslighting you! Good for you for standing up for yourself, but you need to sit him down and have a serious conversation to put a stop to this behaviour,” said another.
