We were so in love. I thought she was the woman I will walk down with. She was supposed to be the mother of my kids. Everything in our lives pointed to the happy future that awaited us, and I just could not wait to live our dreams. We were together for one and a half years. During most of that period, everybody who knew us knew that we were a couple.
Some people even nicknamed her my handbag. So whenever they saw me without her they would ask, “Paul, where is your handbag? You don’t look complete without her.” I would often smile and offer no explanations. Soon it became a joke among all my friends. “Lawrencia is Paul’s handbag. He never leaves her behind.”
Unfortunately, I had to leave her behind and go to school. I gained admission to tertiary school and she didn’t. News that was supposed to make me happy was laced with sadness, as I thought about the distance that would come between us. She was happy for me but she was also sad.
We had not spent that much time apart since our relationship began so we were worried that the distance would ruin what we had. So we sat down and talked. “Don’t go and meet a new girl in the university and forget all about me,” she cautioned. “You know that’s not possible. You are the only one I have eyes for,” I told her. We both agreed to speak every day no matter how busy I got.
While I was in school, we got into a fight. It wasn’t even anything serious. I honestly don’t even remember what we fought about, that’s how unnecessary the whole fight was. Lawrencia was mad at me but she spoke to me every day as we had both promised to do. I wasn’t the one responsible for the misunderstanding but I apologized anyway.
I just wanted her to let it go so that we could have our relationship back. However, she gradually withdrew from me. I would call her but the service operator would say, “The number you are trying to call is busy.” Sometimes the number would go through but she wouldn’t answer the call. Then the next day she’d call and say, “I missed your call, what’s up?” I wasn’t happy with her behaviour but I decided to give her time to let go of our issue, so I didn’t complain too much.
One day I was texting some friends on WhatsApp when my friend, Richard texted me. The text read; “Bro I am sorry to tell you this but I slept with your girlfriend.” I thought it was a joke so I replied with a laughing emoji and then followed it with, “I am sure whichever girl you are talking about is not my girlfriend.” He texted back, “Unfortunately, she is. I won’t mistake anyone for Lawrencia, we all know her because of how close you two are. I didn’t plan on doing this to you. We both bonded over missing you, and things got out of hand. I feel guilty about it, that’s why I’m telling you She is a sweet girl, but she still has feelings for you so I won’t have anything to do with her anymore.” I still thought he was joking so I ignored him. “Lawrencia wouldn’t betray me like this, and neither would Richard,” that’s what I repeatedly told myself.
A week after Richard’s confession, Lawrencia called me crying. She is not someone who cries easily so I thought something tragic had happened. When I asked what was wrong she couldn’t even speak. I had to console her to the point where she could speak coherently. The words that finally came out of her mouth were accusations, “How can you do this to me?” I thought you loved me.” “What did I do this time?” She answered, “You sent your friend to come and test me, and after he succeeded he insulted me and blocked me.” I was shocked, “I didn’t ask anyone to test you. Wait, so is it because he blocked you that you called me?” And she said yes. I then asked if she would like to talk to Richard, and she said yes again.
That day I called Richard, and the three of us had a conference call. To be specific, Lawrencia and Richard insulted each other while I listened. After they finished getting off whatever was on their chests, I disconnected the call. I was really hurt by their betrayal but I didn’t make noise about it. I shouldered my pain and did my best to focus on my education.
All the plans I had for the future started to have the absence of Lawrencia in it. My only comfort was that I was in school, where nobody would ask me, “Paul, where is your handbag? You don’t look complete without her?” Because it would be difficult for me to smile and offer no explanation this time.
I may end up telling people, “My friend Richard stole my handbag and then threw it away, so now my arms are empty.” Of course, they wouldn’t believe me. Even I, don’t believe it sometimes.
Recently, I was there musing over my life when Lawrencia called me. I answered the call and spoke to her nicely. I’m sure that gave her the illusion that I still want her in my life. That’s why she told me, “Paul, I am sorry about what happened with your friend. I still love you. Will you consider taking me back?” So my question is, “How can I hurt her the way she hurt me? What can I do to make her and my friend suffer? I believe if she knew anything about my pain, she wouldn’t even entertain the thought that I would take her back.”
