This Is Why I Want To Be A Man In My Next Life After The Terrible Experience I Had With a Man- Lady

My entire life I have dreamed of meeting Mr. Right. I am one of those people who find intelligent people attractive so in my dreams, the man I fall in love with is intelligent. I never fixated on looks. Because a good-looking man who doesn’t appeal to me intellectually will bore me to death. So I held out and waited to meet this dream man of mine. When I got to SHS and my friends were crushing on boys and entering into relationships, I didn’t take part. I was happy for the ones who found love, while I waited to find mine. A lot of men came my way after SHS but none of them was the man I wanted so I didn’t bother with them.

When I turned twenty-three, Williams came my way. He had it all; charisma, looks, money, and manners. Everyone in my life was excited that he showed interest in me. I on the other hand felt the age difference between us was too wide. I felt someone like him has gone several steps ahead of me in life so he wouldn’t take me seriously. But everyone kept saying, “Girl you’re lucky. You found yourself a good man!” “Girl! That’s a gentleman right there, don’t let him go.” I tried to see why they loved him so much so I gave him a chance.

Indeed, Williams was good to me. He treated me like a princess. And he was also very generous. Soon enough I let go of my reservations and allowed myself to enjoy the relationship. Everything this man did and said showed that he was interested in pursuing our relationship to marriage. He came to meet my parents and expressed his intention of spending the rest of his life with me. I fell deeper in love with him as days evolved into weeks and weeks rode into months. I started to plan my whole life around him because our bond was very strong, and I was sure we would end up together.

I found out one and a half years into the relationship that Williams was a married man. I was beyond shocked to hear the news. I couldn’t process the information for days, because nothing he did showed that he had a wife. I was shattered. My heart felt too heavy for my chest. And I sought to escape myself to put an end to the ache I felt every time I thought about Williams deception. I grieved him for as long as I could, and then I gathered my broken pieces and stitched myself back together.

Several months later I met Agya. With him, it was love at first sight. No, it wasn’t his looks, nor was it his height. It was his ability to keep me engaged in a conversation without me wanting to poke my eyes. Talking to him gave me a peek into his soul, and what I saw was beautiful. After our first encounter, we kept in touch. Agya was everything I wanted in a man and so much more. He went the extra mile and did things for me that I never expected him to do. He called and texted me regularly. I thought Williams love was deep until I experienced Agya’s love. It was more intense than anything I have ever felt.

I opened up to him about my past relationship, and he also opened up about his past. We consoled each other and determined to be different from our exes. Everything was beautiful. I never loved so hard. Maybe that’s why I didn’t listen when someone told me; “This guy you are dating has a girlfriend.” How would I listen? I was head over heels in love with him. His birthday was coming up and I started planning a surprise for him. I wrote poems for him. I was going to read the poems to him and let him know that I was drunk on his love.

Everything was going perfectly well until he came to me looking like a defeated captain who just returned from war. “Are you okay? You don’t look well.” I asked him. His lips quivered when he spoke; “I am sorry. I know you will never forgive me, but I truly am sorry.” He wasn’t making any sense; “What is it? What have you done that I won’t forgive you? Did you cheat on me?” He just said, “I can’t talk about it but you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all my fault. I’m the one who messed up. Once again I’m sorry, but this is the end for us.” I was angry, confused, and hurt. We were fine one minute and then the next minute he is leaving me without any explanation.

I cried over him and asked our friends if they knew why he left me, but no one was willing to talk. Two weeks later he texted me, “Hi”. Seeing the message gave me hope. “Maybe the breakup was a prank. He probably realized he has taken things too far, and he wants to come back.” I thought. The morning after the text he sent another one, “I am getting married today.” I smiled and said to myself, “He is definitely pranking me. I am sure he will show up here in the evening and tease me about how I fell for his practical joke. Let me play along.” So I texted back, “Congratulations!”

I put my phone down and waited for his response but nothing came. Then I went online later in the day and saw his wedding photos. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t feel anything anymore. It felt like a bad dream. I still can’t cry, I am sure it’s because my tear ducts have run out of tears. In my next life, I just ask the universe to make me switch genders with these men so I can hurt them in the same way they hurt me.