Before we got married, we discussed the kind of family we wanted to have. “How many kids do you want?” I asked her. She said, “I am okay with whatever number God gives me, as long as it does not exceed three.” That was what I also wanted so it worked for me. “We have to space the children,” she said, “We can’t just let the pregnancies happen by chance.” I agreed with her. So we both decided that if all went as planned, we would have kids two years apart.
Currently, we have been married for almost two years now. I am crazy about my wife. All I have to do is look at her to be in the mood to make love to her. Even when she was pregnant, I couldn’t keep my hands off her. Now that she has delivered our first child, I continue to find her as hot as hell. I count myself a lucky man because some men I know complain that things change in the bedroom when their women take seeds. Some of the women worry that their husbands would get too rough and hurt the baby.
Others also worry that they are not properly healed after childbirth to start getting intimate. These were things I was worried I was also going to encounter with my wife, but luckily I didn’t. Whenever I want her, she gives it to me. Now more than ever, my desire for her has increased. When I see how soft and nurturing she is with our adorable baby, I feel so proud of her. We talk about the rest of our lives together as though we are still newlyweds.
Just as we planned in the beginning, we are still determined to have the kids two years apart. That is what has become quite the problem. My wife doesn’t want to get on birth control. She says they are chemicals that can cause lasting side effects to her body. So she insists I wear protection instead. Without it, she wouldn’t go all the way with me. I understand her determination not to accidentally pregnant, that’s why I do as she asks.
However, the experience is not as enjoyable as it used to be when we were doing it raw. Sometimes I tell her, “Just let me do it. I will withdraw.” She would shake her head and say, “What if something small gets out before you withdraw? That alone can get me pregnant. Just wear the condom and save us both the trouble of an unplanned pregnancy.” I don’t want to deny myself the pleasure of being with her so I just do it.
I have done everything in my power to convince her that other birth control methods are not bad but she does not want to listen. “Those ones are even safer and more convenient than the latex sheath we use,” I would say.
However, she remains steadfast in her insistence on the condoms. She states examples, using her friends who have experienced terrible side effects after using other forms of contraception.
While I love my wife dearly and respect her concerns, I can’t help but feel disconnected and disheartened by the current state of our intimacy. When we are doing it, I know she is there but I don’t feel her. It’s challenging to maintain a strong emotional connection when our physical relationship feels so regimented and constrained.
This is why I am sharing my story with you. I need help to solve this problem. Whatever advice or suggestions you share with me would be greatly appreciated. I know it’s a delicate situation. It is the reason I want to be careful with the way I handle it. I understand that her body her rules, but it affects me as well. So I want to find a solution that honors both my wife’s concerns and my own needs for intimacy and connection within our marriage.
