I walked into an eatery one afternoon to order takeout. While I waited for my food I kept busy with my phone. A man walked up to me with determination on his face. He smiled and said “Hello my name is Victor. I have been trying to get your attention from my table over there (he points to a far-off table).
You didn’t even blink in my direction.” I looked at him and said “Sorry I’ve been engrossed with my phone.” He said “I can see that. I suppose that’s how to get your attention, through your phone. Can you give me your number then?” I didn’t mind giving him my number so I gave it to him. He didn’t believe the number was correct. He dialed it right in front of me just to be sure. When it went through, he looked satisfied. We talked briefly about ourselves before I left the restaurant that day.
The next day we texted. In our conversation, he asked, “Are you willing to marry a man who is 12 years older than you?” Our age had come up in our introduction. I replied, “Age doesn’t matter to me as long as I like the person.” He took that as an encouragement to make his move. He asked me out and I agreed to meet him the next day. I have some rules when it comes to going out on dates and I wasn’t going to break them on his account.
I texted him “Please take note that I will not stay out past 8:00 PM”. He said he was fine with it. The next day we met at the eatery we first met. We spent a short time there and then decided to head to a nearby bar for drinks. He wanted us to take his car to the bar but I said “It’s just a short distance, let’s walk.” I was scared to be alone with him in his car but he was reluctant to walk so we took his car, a Range Rover.
Victor was a complete gentleman on the ride and at the bar. Some women at the bar were looking at him longingly while they shot me death glares. Some even went as far as hooting at me. If Victor noticed any of the drama going on, he didn’t show it. His focus was entirely on me. I felt quite special to be out with a man women were openly displaying their desire for. At the end of the date, he asked, “Can I see you again tomorrow? I know it is too soon but I’m leaving the country in two days and I would like to spend tomorrow out with you again. Today has been fun.” Even though I was sad about the death glares, the hooting, and the name-calling I received from the women in the bar, I wanted to see him again so I said yes to a second date.
I enjoyed his company alright but that was just it. I didn’t feel anything more for him. We went to a different restaurant the next day but we couldn’t stay. They didn’t have the food we wanted to eat. He suggested another restaurant and I agreed. When we got there, I realized the restaurant had a guesthouse, or rather it was a guesthouse that had a restaurant.
We didn’t even order our food when he suggested that we get a room in the guesthouse. He wanted us to do Shuperu. I was outraged, “How can you expect me to sleep with you when I literally just met you? We haven’t known each other for a week. I’m not some cheap girl you bring to a guesthouse to wine and dine and then shag. I don’t even have feelings for you. All this time I’ve spent with you, I haven’t felt a single butterfly flutter in my tummy.
If you want this to work between us, you have to give it time, don’t rush me.” Everything I said fell on deaf ears. He wanted me to know that he wanted me and it didn’t matter that I didn’t want him that much. He said, “Two options. Let’s get a room so you could give me a lover’s send-off or just give me a kiss to soothe my nerves.”
I started feeling uncomfortable at the fact that he won’t take no for an answer. I took my phone and texted a friend, “Call me right now and tell me there’s an emergency with my mother.” A few minutes later my friend called and acted the part very well. I told him I had to go and he knew immediately what had happened. He saw through our charade and he wouldn’t budge when I asked him to take me home.
I managed to convince him to drop me off at my friend’s mobile money shop. I told him he could pick me up later. That got him to soften his stand. When he dropped me off he said he was going to get food seeing as we hadn’t eaten, and he would bring me mine when he came to pick me up. I waited for him to bring my food because I was really hungry. I told him, “I wouldn’t leave with you though.” He got angry and drove off.
The next day I lost my phone. I should probably have taken it as a sign to let him go. After all, I didn’t have feelings for him. Rather, I found a way to contact him three weeks later. He was out of the country by then and it felt safer with him far away. We talked often and vibed really well. Not long after we became a couple. It’s been a long-distance relationship. The more I get to know him the more he intrigues me.
I found out that he is not an ordinary man. He is rich and not married yet. I’m wondering how a man like him, who’s advanced in age with all his wealth is still a bachelor. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not after his money. My parents are well to do and I don’t lack anything. Neither do I hunger after other people’s money. I’m just wondering if there’s something fundamentally off about him that drives women away. So far, I haven’t seen anything to be concerned about.
He told me he was still on talking terms with her. I got more worried when he said his ex was trying to get him back. This girl we are talking about is friends with a popular slay queen in Ghana. I am concerned that she has everything it takes to have him and keep him while I may not. I’ve given him an ultimatum; “You have to stop entertaining your ex or we are done.” He chose me. He told me, “I’d rather lose her than lose you. I have blocked her. We are no longer in contact so you have nothing to worry about.”
I am still worried. I am on a lower level as compared to a popular slay queen’s best friend. I feel so insecure.
Recently he asked me to visit him in the US but my school schedules would not permit me to visit him. He has also assured me that as soon as he returns to the country we will start preparing for marriage.
I know this should be enough assurance but I’m still not assured. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I don’t trust him. Or if it may be my own insecurities getting in the way. I want things to work between us. How do I hold on to him so the Slay Queens don’t snatch him from me? Please advise.