I am in love with Abena. She assures me she loves me too and I believe her. Her actions have proved to me that she does. I live outside the country but the long distance did not deter us from being together. We are both mature so we understand that we need to put in the work to keep the relationship going.
We talk a lot of times. How else would we be able to keep the fire of our love going with the vast distance between us? Even when you are close to each other and you don’t communicate, what are the chances that the relationship will survive? Whether you are near or apart, you have to keep an open line of communication. That’s what Abena and I have.
We share everything. She tells me everything that happens to her in a day. I am not there with her so it’s good to hear these stories. I look forward to it every day. I would be at work, “What’s she up to by this time?” Or I would remember something funny she told me and laugh. It’s cold out here but her warmth stretches across the sea to me when I start to miss home.
One of the other things we share is intimacy. We can’t do it physically but we find ways to keep things exciting. I send her photos of my joystick when it misses her. She also sends me photos of my favorite parts of her body. Those photos keep my bed warm when loneliness creeps into my soul.
This whole photo and video exchange thing is something we do. Sometimes we have video calls while we are both not clothed. We just like to watch the other person play with themselves and experience pleasure together. It does not feel like the real action but it helps take the edge off.
A few days ago, I sent her a video while I was in the shower. I captured all the right angles that I knew she would appreciate. When I finished taking my bath, I checked my phone for a response but there was silence. That was unlike her. She is the kind who is vocal with feedback. She would say sweet things like, “This view is a sight for my sore eyes.” “Is it my eyes or it’s getting bigger?” I feel good about myself when I hear her compliments.
That day I was expecting the same treatment but I did not get it. She just disappeared. There were no activities on her social media channels either. I was concerned especially when I didn’t hear any word from her the next day as well. She did not respond to my calls or my messages.
Two days after I sent her the video she finally sent me a message filled with accusations. “Why did you have to send that video at that time? You made me feel ashamed.” I was confused. “This is something we do all the time so what did I do wrong this time?” She said, “My uncle who just returned home from abroad was using my phone when you sent the video. He saw everything. Do you know how embarrassing it feels?” She was trying to make me feel bad about it but I feel no guilt. The only thing I am filled with is a list of questions.
First of all, how sure am I that she is talking about her uncle? Okay fine, let’s say he is her uncle. What was he doing with her phone to start with? Again, maybe he had to use it for something. These things happen sometimes. The question is, what right did this uncle have to open her message and even watch a video sent to her? What kind of uncle invades his niece’s privacy?
In case you are wondering, no we are not teenagers. I am thirty-four and she is twenty-eight. Finally, if for some crazy reason, it is truly her uncle who saw the video then why should she be embarrassed? She is not a child.
Can you guys believe that Abena used this issue as an excuse to break up with me? What is so wrong about her uncle seeing my video that she should break up with me? It’s one thing to feel embarrassed. She could have even apologized to this uncle of hers and explained that I am her boyfriend. But to go as far as ending our relationship is too extreme. Or I am the one who doesn’t understand how bad the situation is?
