“People Mocked Me For Marrying A Man Born With No Jaw”, But This is What Made Me to Marry Him- Touching Love Story

This is Joseph. He fell in love with Venia. Joseph has a rare condition whereby he was born without a jaw or a chin, which left Venia originally having doubts. When we were friends, people always questioned our friendship and if we were more than friends. And I would always tell them, “No, no, no, we’re just friends,” because I was embarrassed.

The couple are now happily married. I didn’t see his face anymore; I just saw his spirit, his personality. But not everyone believes that this marriage is real. “She can’t kiss him,” or “she must be cheating on him,” “we are faking marriage for attention.” Today we’re doing pancakes. Um, and pancakes will make you fat, so try not to do too many. So once I’m finished and I’ll blend it up, I’m gonna make me some eggs.

She makes my pancakes really good. “Hey, my name’s Joseph. This is my wonderful empress, Fannia. And I was born without a jaw. Me and my husband, Joe, we’ve been together for two years.” When I first met Joe at work, I saw him walk into the building. It was early in the morning, and when I saw Joseph, I was thinking to myself, “Am I really seeing this?” Because like I said, it was early, and I’m like, “Am I really seeing what I’m seeing?” And I didn’t want to talk to him because I felt like I knew. I was curious.

But I didn’t want to be rude and ask him what happened because I was just having all these assumptions of what happened to him. And so finally one day, he just, you know, he mentioned it with somebody else, and that’s when I found out he was born without a jaw. I was born with the condition of autofacial. That is when the person is born without a jaw or a chin. With that condition comes things like my hearing loss and the ability to can’t smell as good as normal people would smell.

Growing up, like I am, it was a hit and miss because I don’t expect everyone to accept me. But I got all kinds of responses. Responses such as people running from me because they are scared, or they would scream or cry. But on the flip side, I do have people who love me and they do not see this condition. I realized I had feelings for her on the second day I saw her after me helping her out. She came to work, and when she turned the corner and saw me, she had a smile on her face that I was like, “That’s the most beautiful smile I ever seen.”

Then when I walked past her station, she signed the word “hi” to me. I was teaching her sign language a little, but the way she did it made me feel some kind of way. I have never dated anyone with a disability before. Joe was the first person I’ve met with a disability. When we were friends, people always questioned our friendship and if we were more than friends. And I will always tell them, “No, no, no, we’re just friends,” because like I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. But eventually, you know, getting to know Joseph, time after time, I looked over that, and I didn’t see his face anymore; I just saw his spirit, his personality. So the way me and Joe communicate is through his phone.

He used the text-to-speech app and also with sign language. He taught me the alphabet so I know from A to Z, the alphabets. I gotta learn patience with Joe because he has to use his talk-to-speech, and I gotta wait on his response. Joe is very independent; he doesn’t need my help with anything. The only thing I would do for Joe is like help blend his food up, uh, for him. And sometimes when he’s tired, you know, I’ll give him, you know, his feeding tube.

But everything else, he’s independent with it. We got married June 26, 2020, and we didn’t tell anybody; we just eloped. We went to a courthouse in Indiana, and we were just signing papers, trying to get ready for it. We wasn’t planning on getting married then and there, but the lady at the courthouse, she was like, “Hey, do you guys want to get married today? We can make it happen today,” and I was like, “Sure.” And so we was. I wasn’t even dressed; our family wasn’t there. And it just, it just felt all wrong, but it felt right at the same time. The assumptions that people make are kind of nerve-wracking, but we get things like “she can’t kiss him,” or “she must be cheating on him.” Other things consist of personal matters such as sex, and “we are faking marriage for attention.”

It’s a lot, which my wife will probably mention too. So when me and Joe go out together, it’s basically just stares. People pull out their phones sometimes, recording or taking pictures, um, but they never say anything. That’s the thing about it. I never hear anybody saying any rude comments, just staring. But I see it as clear as day. I get that a lot, yes, I know I look different than most people in this world. Have not ever seen anyone like me. But rather than to act out of pocket or ignorant, just ask me what happened or even ask my wife.

So my mom, when she first met my husband Joe, she was not pleased because she didn’t like the fact that we didn’t have a wedding and she didn’t know. When I first saw Joe, I was taken back by his physical handicap.

Non-judgmental, but just wanted to know what happened. It was kind of surprising. I think they would probably have to look after him, so I didn’t understand. It took me a while as I got to know him. He kept coming around. Um, he’s a remarkable man. He does things that, you know, normal men don’t do. He’s very, um, he’s a hard worker for one. He’s attentive to her. He cares about her.

He loves her and she loves him, and he brings out some good qualities in her. I’m so happy. The main thing I wanted for him in the world, but to have someone next to him that understands him and gets him, and so it was all love when he told me. I’m so excited. I’m still a little brother, but I mean, until this day, Joseph is still helping me with life, with everything, and I’m learning every day, every day.

What I learned about love, that love has no face, it has no eyes, it has just the power of God behind it. If love is really there, you will adapt to whomever you are with, and it won’t be a fight to accept them for who they are. That’s what I learned about love when I am with Vania. Well, what I want people to know about being in a relationship with someone who has a disability is that you have to be patient with them and give them some time and look at their heart. Like don’t look at their physical appearance. Whatever the disability may be, don’t take it as, “Oh, this is going to drain me,” or “This is going to make me tired.” Just look at it as you’re helping someone. And when you help someone become better in life, then it transfers over to yourself.

I want people to understand, whether they are disabled or not, stop looking at the physical because you just may be missing your blessings. We have two trans kids. Anyone can be whoever they want. I’m just owning it. Our family is seen to be very unconventional. So I had kids and I can’t be hot anymore like moms are hot too. People say I look like a plug, but I love books. I take that as a compliment. I’m bored of people thinking that I cannot be intimate. I’m a young, single, hot piece of disabled booty. I feel like I’m going to look at myself and be like, “Who is that?” Life is way too short to be hiding. It is my story. It is my truth. You.